Preferring the Passive voice to the Active Voice
In circumstances of conflict and disagreement, it is very important in English to use the passive voice as much as possible. Notice:
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ACTIVE: You told me…. PASSIVE: I was told that… |
In the active voice sentence, the stress is on ‘YOU’ which may cause that person to become angry or defensive. In the passive voice sentence, the emphasis is on the ‘I’. This is a very important way to make a situation of conflict seem less threatening. Some more examples:
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ACTIVE: You made a terrible mistake. PASSIVE: A terrible mistake was made. ACTIVE: He shouldn’t have said that. PASSIVE: That shouldn’t have been said. ACTIVE: Your team didn’t finish the project on time. PASSIVE: The project wasn’t finished on time. |
Using Polite Language
It is very important when dealing with customers, that the language you use is as polite as possible. This is essential in maintaining good customer relations, but also diffuses potentially disruptive situations. Notice:
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LESS POLITE: What’s the problem? MORE POLITE: What can I help you with?
MORE POLITE: I have some concerns.
MORE POLITE: Perhaps I didn’t explain it clearly.
MORE POLITE: It might have been better to...
MORE POLITE: It might be a good idea to… |
This last phrase ‘you’d better’, is something a mother might say to her child: “You’d better go and clean your room,” and NOT one that an adult uses with another adult.
*Remember that the level of politeness or rudeness has much to do with your facial expression, tone, and body language. Smiling, avoiding actions like raising your voice, pointing or pounding on things is (in any culture) the best way to avoid seeming impolite.
Apologising
Sometimes the easiest way to calm down an angry customer is to apologise. But different apologies suit different circumstances, depending on the seriousness of the situation:
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NOT A SERIOUS PROBLEM: Sorry about that. SERIOUS PROBLEM: I really am terribly sorry. |