Thirsty Man

A guy walking in the desert really needed a drink. As he followed the sand dunes, he came upon another man riding a camel. He asked the man if he had something to drink.

The man on the camel said "No, but if you like, I have a nice selection of ties. Would you like to buy one?"

"No!" The first man replied. "Are you crazy? I need something to drink, not a tie!"

So the man on the camel rode on, and the walking man continued his slow and very thirsty trek for several days. Finally he came upon a cafe. He gratefully approached the doorman at the cafe and said "Thank God I made it! Can I get in and get some water?

The doorman frowned at him. "Sorry, we have a strict dress code here. You can't enter without a tie."

Beware of the Blind Man

Five ladies volunteered to paint a room one summer at a local old people's home. It was a really hot day and the ladies were getting really hot while working, so they took off all their clothes and went on painting naked. Suddenly, they heard a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" One lady asked.

A man answered, "I'm the blind man".

So, the ladies decided to let him in since he would not be able to see them. The man then looked around the room, then looked at them and said, "Ahem. Excuse me, where do you want these blinds??"

Ugly Baby

There was a middle-aged couple who had two teen-aged daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and nine months later delivered a baby boy.

The happy father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He thought that there was no way that he could be the father of that child.

"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."